Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize