do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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