I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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