DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
