I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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