I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
