Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
