The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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