May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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