I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
i think my cat just said my name.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
