every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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