I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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