I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
