just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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