what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
