I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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