whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
