Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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