you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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