Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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