i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
