Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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