hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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