Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
