Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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