wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
