Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize
