He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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