Can i not drive my cunt home
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
