i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
