I seem to have left my pride at pride
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It's shark week go big or go home
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
