Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
