Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
