Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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