I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
