I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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