At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
