so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
