I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
