we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
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