the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
