how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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