how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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