well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
