don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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