if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
