Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
