i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
