Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
