New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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